If you remember the saying, “you get what you give,” then it’s no wonder that many guys are searching for ways to make a girl feel good. If this is your goal, then that’s a great start! The logic behind this idea is that if a girl feels good, she’ll want to stay with you because she’s happy around you. This happiness can be a stepping stone to making her fall in love with you, which is often the ultimate goal) Is this is absolute truth ? Not quite… If I look at all my relationships, including girlfriends, friends and family, I tend to hang out with the people that make me feel happy the most.
Most people seek to avoid pain and gain pleasure.
Feeling good is the definition of pleasurable. There are some pitfalls however, if you accomplish good feelings by degrading yourself socially, then that person will not respect you. The idea is that you cannot force sincere emotions if, in terms of status, you are not worth anything. Let me elaborate.
Don’t be a clingy guy
If you are a clingy guy who always tells a girl that she is beautiful, she might enjoy it the first time, but she’ll soon come to realize that you are putting her up on a pedestal. Since everything is relative, telling her that she looks great consequently means that you do not look as good as her. When your social value drops, your ability to make her feel happy drops substantially. For example, imagine a famous actor of your choice walking down the red carpet. Now a crazed fan runs up to him and tells your favorite actor that he is amazing. “Big deal” he thinks, another fan. In this situation, the fan might have a masters in Cinematography, it wouldn’t matter, the approach taken by the fan reduced his value to less than zero and therefore his compliment had absolutely no effect. However, if another person, say… a respected peer of the actor, maybe a co-star, came up to him and told him he really played a specific part in the movie well, then this statement would be valued much more.
The golden rule if you want a girl to like you.
Remember the golden rule: people will feel comfortable around you if you feel comfortable yourself. The same applies to feeling good; if you feel good, then she’s likely to feel the same way. Enjoy life, be happy and it shall be contagious. If she’s happy to be around you, then you can assume that you’re doing your part.
If you must compliment her, make sure that she deserves it.
Tell her something specific, accurate and include yourself in the goodness as well. There is a huge difference in saying: “We’re the best looking couple at this Halloween party” and “You look the best at this Halloween party”. But enough about looks, people don’t care as much about looks as society leads us to think. Here are some quick situational examples:
- Get her to cook for you, and then tell her the food was amazing
- Go out and do a team activity, and then ‘talk her up’
- If she’s putting herself down… talk her up
- If she’s talking herself up… tease her!
If you’re still wondering how to make a girl feel good, then I’ll leave you with this piece of information: Make sure to read the book Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo, it shows you ways to make girls addicted to you for life.
